An Open Letter to those that Vilify Formula Feeding
This is a post for all those breast feeding "advocates" that turn anything and everything thing they see on Facebook into a pro-breast feeding rant. Just remember this before you shout "breast is best" from the roof tops:
1. There is this thing called genetics. Your baby may be happy and healthy just because it has good genes.
2. *Gasp* There are Olympic athletes that were formula fed.
3. Chunkier baby does not always mean breast fed baby.
4. Just because a baby is formula fed it doesn't mean they are doomed to a life full of ear infections. You better sit down for this one, My formula fed daughter has NEVER had an ear infection. She is 8 years old.
5. There are no special diplomas at high school graduation for the kids that drank mother's milk.
6. When your kid gets to college, there will not be a separate dorm for the breast fed kids. They will (take a deep breath) be mixed in the dorm with the formula fed kids.
7. I am going to guarantee that when your child goes on a job interview, the boss is not going to ask your child if he or she was breast fed.
8. Formula fed babies can bond with their mothers too. It is this new thing called LOVE.
9. My mother breast fed me exclusively for the first year. I still got cancer. Breast milk is not a miracle cure!
10. The mom who formula feeds her child is not evil. She is FEEDING her child.
Just to be crystal clear...
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with choosing to breast feed.
I am saying that it is wrong to vilify the mother's who formula feed their babies. Just remember that feeding a baby is just that- feeding a baby.
Let's just try and feed our children and not try and convert anyone else to our "team." Try and remember that moms have feelings too. So the next time you post your pro-breastfeeding Facebook status or blog post, try and think about whether or not it is helpful or hurtful.
Disclaimer: I formula fed all three of my children.
LOL!!! I love this post, Amy!!! I'm saving this forever!! ROFL!!!!.... Such silly arguments these women have!! I breast feed Anya, you bottle feed Ella, we both love our daughters more than life itself. Simple as that :D
What a horribly judgmental post about breastfeeding mothers. As a breastfeeding mother I never judge or vilify mothers who formula feed. I even used formula in the first month because we had latching problems & my daughter had a milk intolerance. No, you are right it will not matter in the future whether or not my daughter was breastfed. But I enjoy breastfeeding and I enjoy spreading information when asked and in the correct environment. I think you are misunderstanding why breastfeeding mothers feel the need to talk about & share their breastfeeding stories... There is a lot of misinformation out there. I would not have been a successful breastfeeding mother without the support of other mothers. And every time I write a post on breastfeeding I always receive comments about how people wish they had known certain things or had a support system when they were attempting to breastfeed. America has one of the worst breastfeeding rates in the country. There is a very negative attitude towards it. Try breastfeeding your child in public without evil stares. And until that changes & until people stop writing judgemental posts such as this one.. I will continue to be an amazing support system to all mothers who ask. And hopefully create posts that change the opinion of people such as yourself.
I am sorry that you were offended. Did you read the title? It is a post to the moms that vilify bottle feeding. It it not against breastfeeding. It is against the moms who make bottle feeding moms out the be the bad guy. You are being terribly defensive. I don't have anything against posts about breastfeeding. I have a problem when those people make villains out of moms who feed their babies with bottles. I also think that the tables have turned. People no longer get the stink eye for breast feeding, it is the opposite, moms get questioned as to why they are using a bottle.
Your posts that help others are great. They can't change an opinion in someone like me because I have no choice. I have to formula feed my children. I had a condition during pregnancy that did not allow breast milk to come in. I am not against breast feeding. Please re read the post and you may understand what I am saying.
I completely understand what you are trying to say.. I just do not like how you went about it. Like the high school diploma comment or the college dorm comment or the future dorm comment. Not all breastfeeding mothers behave this way, in fact I have neve met one that does. I support formula feeding as well as breastfeeding. I was a formula fed baby. I do not think that breastfeeding has anything to do with intelligence. The main advantage that breastfeeding has on formula is that it is natural.
I personally have received the stink eye on more than one occasion for breastfeeding in public. I think that the judgement is all relative to what part of the country you live in. Where I am there is a very very small breastfeeding community so we are the ones at the disadvantage. In fact we are always the smaller portion of the population.
I am so sorry that you were unable to breastfeed your children. My best friend was unable to breastfeed her son because he was allergic to her milk & it was hard to watch her go through that process. Formula feeding is a wonderful thing but I also believe that as a country we should be less dependent on it.
Perhaps I would have been less defensive if this article was written less defensively. Not all breastfeeding mothers are as psycho as you have depicted above. As for me and the breastfeeding mothers I surround myself with we will still advocate for a cause we see necessary in our community because we love what we do.
No mother should judge another mother for her choices. And I am sorry if you have ever felt that way but I have great confidence saying that the majority of my community is out to help mothers not vilify or make them for lesser for choosing formula. There is just a lot of misinformation out there that we intend to correct.
I think the disconnect is coming from you not knowing me in person. The way I went about it, is the way I talk. I am a funny person and the parts about the diploma, jobs and job interviews was supposed to be funny. It was hyperbole. I know that those things won't really come up. It was an exaggerated way of saying that right now it seems important whether one decides to breast feed or bottle feed but in the long run, it all works out the same. By time our children reach those milestones, it will be impossible to differentiate the breast and bottle fed children.
As far as you not meeting one who acts that way, you wouldn't have. You breastfed your children so no one would have a reason to judge you from that angle. The people who do speak that way do it towards the formula feeding moms.
I live in NJ and I have not noticed any negativity expressed towards breast feeding moms in public. I guess NJ is considered pretty progressive.
I am not saying that breastfeeding moms are psycho, my point is for breast feeding moms to keep in mind that when they are out there "advocating" for breast feeding that there are moms who would nurse if they could and that the "advocating" can come across as judgmental to those moms. They also need to keep in mind that formula feeding moms love their children too. Also that formula is not poison so we should not treat formula feeding as if it is a form of child abuse. When some (not all) breast feeding advocates are touting the benefits of breast milk, they need to remember that formula fed children turn out to be positive members of society too.
I totally get this post. On a lot of forums and posts, there are many critical moms, on each side of the fence. I was a soy formula baby, because I was adopted and couldn't handle regular formula. My son and daughter are formula babies. I just couldn't BF. I tried but it just didn't work out for me. I think moms should respect each other but also I don't think it's their business either. If a mom reaches out for info they should not be bashed for not BFing their baby.
*standing applause* Thank you for saying this! I am sick and tired of moms that formula fed their babies being vilified like they are abusing their child. Some women choose not to breast feed for one reason or another and that is their choice and no one else's. I formula fed both my girls and guess what they are completely normal. We need to stop vilifying each other and support each other. It's not easy being a mother.
Got to agree with you on this one, amy. I also couldnt breastfeed Madison due to medications i had to take for my postpartum. I felt pretty crummy about it at the time == but have you seen my madison lately??? Five years old, 60 pounds and not an ounce of extra fat anywhere! To top it off, i bottlefed both of my girls and neither one of them has earache issues either~
I love this so much. I started off breastfeeding, but had to switch to formula because I kept getting mastitis. I couldn't take care of my children because I was always sick and in pain. I have been called selfish and dumb for switching. People have said I don't know what I am doing and it is my fault I don't know how to breastfeed. Also, a lot of breast feeding moms I know have told me my kid will be obese, promiscuous, or always sick. Why would anyone degrade a mother this way?!?! I sm glad someone stood up for formula feeding families! Love it!
love this!!! people have made me feel bad about not being able breastfeed my child, I get told I didn't try hard enough and I get seen as this horrible formula feeing mom. Someone I even know who breastfeeds refers to formula as the "f" word. I got told breastfed babys are smarter and healthier also which isn't true. I had such a hard time when my breast milk was what kept my daughter jaundice and dropping weight, I got no support.
Oh my gosh! Let 'me know, Amy, let 'me know! I am so happy you shared this at the NEW #PinFest! I began breast feeding my twins and had to stop after about a month. When I switched to formula, I felt like such a bad mother! And the looks people gave me when I mentioned that they were formula fed, you'd think I was abusing them or something! Formula feeding is just as beneficial as breast feeding. So happy you shared this!! Thank you!
This is exactly what I needed! As i am preparing for my first child and choosing to formula feed, many articles are very discouraging about the choice I am choosing to make! Thank you!
Thank you so much for this. I had to formula feed my daughter even though I was dead set of breast feeding, but couldn't because of latch issues. I didn't know there was help out there, my hospital kind of screwed me. I've been put down by so many ebf mothers and it hurts because I've done nothing but support them. We're all mothers and as long as our babies are getting fed, why should it matter how it's done? We need to support each other, not tear each other down. I'm not saying all ebf moms are the same either, just FYI
Thank you! I had to deal with the La Leche League Gestapo after the birth of my first child; when I tried to explain to them that I had breast cancer twice and was PHYSICALLY unable to breast feed due to surgeries, radiation treatments, chemo, etc. they just looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears and suggested that I "needed to try a little bit longer and a bit harder." Do you know what that does to a new mommy?! Now, that I've had breast cancer again and gone through bi-lateral masectomies I hope they will be more understanding about formula feeding once my son comes. *sigh*
LOL!!! I love this post, Amy!!! I'm saving this forever!! ROFL!!!!.... Such silly arguments these women have!! I breast feed Anya, you bottle feed Ella, we both love our daughters more than life itself. Simple as that :D
ReplyDeleteMake sure Anya checks the "I was breastfed" box on her college application! LOL!!!
DeleteWhat a horribly judgmental post about breastfeeding mothers. As a breastfeeding mother I never judge or vilify mothers who formula feed. I even used formula in the first month because we had latching problems & my daughter had a milk intolerance.
ReplyDeleteNo, you are right it will not matter in the future whether or not my daughter was breastfed. But I enjoy breastfeeding and I enjoy spreading information when asked and in the correct environment.
I think you are misunderstanding why breastfeeding mothers feel the need to talk about & share their breastfeeding stories... There is a lot of misinformation out there. I would not have been a successful breastfeeding mother without the support of other mothers.
And every time I write a post on breastfeeding I always receive comments about how people wish they had known certain things or had a support system when they were attempting to breastfeed.
America has one of the worst breastfeeding rates in the country.
There is a very negative attitude towards it. Try breastfeeding your child in public without evil stares. And until that changes & until people stop writing judgemental posts such as this one..
I will continue to be an amazing support system to all mothers who ask. And hopefully create posts that change the opinion of people such as yourself.
All mothers should support one another.
I am sorry that you were offended. Did you read the title? It is a post to the moms that vilify bottle feeding. It it not against breastfeeding. It is against the moms who make bottle feeding moms out the be the bad guy. You are being terribly defensive. I don't have anything against posts about breastfeeding. I have a problem when those people make villains out of moms who feed their babies with bottles. I also think that the tables have turned. People no longer get the stink eye for breast feeding, it is the opposite, moms get questioned as to why they are using a bottle.
DeleteYour posts that help others are great. They can't change an opinion in someone like me because I have no choice. I have to formula feed my children. I had a condition during pregnancy that did not allow breast milk to come in. I am not against breast feeding. Please re read the post and you may understand what I am saying.
I completely understand what you are trying to say.. I just do not like how you went about it. Like the high school diploma comment or the college dorm comment or the future dorm comment. Not all breastfeeding mothers behave this way, in fact I have neve met one that does. I support formula feeding as well as breastfeeding. I was a formula fed baby. I do not think that breastfeeding has anything to do with intelligence. The main advantage that breastfeeding has on formula is that it is natural.
DeleteI personally have received the stink eye on more than one occasion for breastfeeding in public. I think that the judgement is all relative to what part of the country you live in. Where I am there is a very very small breastfeeding community so we are the ones at the disadvantage. In fact we are always the smaller portion of the population.
I am so sorry that you were unable to breastfeed your children. My best friend was unable to breastfeed her son because he was allergic to her milk & it was hard to watch her go through that process. Formula feeding is a wonderful thing but I also believe that as a country we should be less dependent on it.
Perhaps I would have been less defensive if this article was written less defensively. Not all breastfeeding mothers are as psycho as you have depicted above. As for me and the breastfeeding mothers I surround myself with we will still advocate for a cause we see necessary in our community because we love what we do.
No mother should judge another mother for her choices. And I am sorry if you have ever felt that way but I have great confidence saying that the majority of my community is out to help mothers not vilify or make them for lesser for choosing formula. There is just a lot of misinformation out there that we intend to correct.
I think the disconnect is coming from you not knowing me in person. The way I went about it, is the way I talk. I am a funny person and the parts about the diploma, jobs and job interviews was supposed to be funny. It was hyperbole. I know that those things won't really come up. It was an exaggerated way of saying that right now it seems important whether one decides to breast feed or bottle feed but in the long run, it all works out the same. By time our children reach those milestones, it will be impossible to differentiate the breast and bottle fed children.
DeleteAs far as you not meeting one who acts that way, you wouldn't have. You breastfed your children so no one would have a reason to judge you from that angle. The people who do speak that way do it towards the formula feeding moms.
I live in NJ and I have not noticed any negativity expressed towards breast feeding moms in public. I guess NJ is considered pretty progressive.
I am not saying that breastfeeding moms are psycho, my point is for breast feeding moms to keep in mind that when they are out there "advocating" for breast feeding that there are moms who would nurse if they could and that the "advocating" can come across as judgmental to those moms. They also need to keep in mind that formula feeding moms love their children too. Also that formula is not poison so we should not treat formula feeding as if it is a form of child abuse. When some (not all) breast feeding advocates are touting the benefits of breast milk, they need to remember that formula fed children turn out to be positive members of society too.
ohmydarlinbaby
Deletego spray some breast milk on your brain, cause IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE GETTING THE WHOLE POINT!!! nosy people ugh
I totally get this post. On a lot of forums and posts, there are many critical moms, on each side of the fence. I was a soy formula baby, because I was adopted and couldn't handle regular formula. My son and daughter are formula babies. I just couldn't BF. I tried but it just didn't work out for me. I think moms should respect each other but also I don't think it's their business either. If a mom reaches out for info they should not be bashed for not BFing their baby.
ReplyDelete*standing applause* Thank you for saying this! I am sick and tired of moms that formula fed their babies being vilified like they are abusing their child. Some women choose not to breast feed for one reason or another and that is their choice and no one else's. I formula fed both my girls and guess what they are completely normal. We need to stop vilifying each other and support each other. It's not easy being a mother.
ReplyDeleteGot to agree with you on this one, amy. I also couldnt breastfeed Madison due to medications i had to take for my postpartum. I felt pretty crummy about it at the time == but have you seen my madison lately??? Five years old, 60 pounds and not an ounce of extra fat anywhere! To top it off, i bottlefed both of my girls and neither one of them has earache issues either~
ReplyDeleteI love this so much. I started off breastfeeding, but had to switch to formula because I kept getting mastitis. I couldn't take care of my children because I was always sick and in pain. I have been called selfish and dumb for switching. People have said I don't know what I am doing and it is my fault I don't know how to breastfeed. Also, a lot of breast feeding moms I know have told me my kid will be obese, promiscuous, or always sick. Why would anyone degrade a mother this way?!?! I sm glad someone stood up for formula feeding families! Love it!
ReplyDeleteLOVE THIS!! AMEN and THANK YOU!
ReplyDeletelove this!!! people have made me feel bad about not being able breastfeed my child, I get told I didn't try hard enough and I get seen as this horrible formula feeing mom. Someone I even know who breastfeeds refers to formula as the "f" word. I got told breastfed babys are smarter and healthier also which isn't true. I had such a hard time when my breast milk was what kept my daughter jaundice and dropping weight, I got no support.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! Let 'me know, Amy, let 'me know! I am so happy you shared this at the NEW #PinFest! I began breast feeding my twins and had to stop after about a month. When I switched to formula, I felt like such a bad mother! And the looks people gave me when I mentioned that they were formula fed, you'd think I was abusing them or something! Formula feeding is just as beneficial as breast feeding. So happy you shared this!! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove this. And most of the comments too. It's nice to feel one is not alone. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I needed! As i am preparing for my first child and choosing to formula feed, many articles are very discouraging about the choice I am choosing to make! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this. I had to formula feed my daughter even though I was dead set of breast feeding, but couldn't because of latch issues. I didn't know there was help out there, my hospital kind of screwed me.
ReplyDeleteI've been put down by so many ebf mothers and it hurts because I've done nothing but support them.
We're all mothers and as long as our babies are getting fed, why should it matter how it's done? We need to support each other, not tear each other down.
I'm not saying all ebf moms are the same either, just FYI
Thank you! I had to deal with the La Leche League Gestapo after the birth of my first child; when I tried to explain to them that I had breast cancer twice and was PHYSICALLY unable to breast feed due to surgeries, radiation treatments, chemo, etc. they just looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears and suggested that I "needed to try a little bit longer and a bit harder." Do you know what that does to a new mommy?! Now, that I've had breast cancer again and gone through bi-lateral masectomies I hope they will be more understanding about formula feeding once my son comes. *sigh*
ReplyDelete