What I Learned from the Family Portrait...

My dad turned 70 this year so for his birthday this year the only thing he asked for was a family portrait. It sounds simple enough, right?    Well, it was much more difficult than it looked. 

It took quite a bit of planning to get all of us together.   First, there are quite a few of us and my sister lives in South Carolina with her family and the rest of us are up here in New Jersey.   Then there was coordinating the outfits and trying to keep everyone clean for the picture.  Lastly, there was deciding on the spot to take the picture.

Here's a little graphic with a guide to who is who? in my family:

So... what did I learn from the portrait?  

Was it that white is not the best color to wear when toddlers are in the picture?  

Was it that not everyone will ever agree with what to wear or where to take the picture?  

Was it that no matter what I do, I will never get my hair to look the way I want it to in a picture?  

Believe it or not, No!

I learned that my 9 year old daughter is a really awesome big sister!

In the midst of all the chaos, she was the one that watched her little brother and sister and kept them out of harm's way.  You can see in this picture that everyone else is worried about the portrait but Sydney is carefully helping her little brother and sister cross the road.   The camera was on a timer and this picture was taken by mistake but it showed me how awesome my oldest daughter is.  At the time the picture was taken I was oblivious to the fact that she was doing this.  I am glad that this photo was taken to show me how grown up she has become!

This picture was a mistake but "some of the best things in life are mistakes."

Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak...

Last weekend I was upstairs folding laundry and running around like the usual maniac that I am on a Saturday afternoon.   As a working mom, I catch up on all of the cleaning and laundry on the weekends.  It is a busy life but we are in a rhythm as a family. While I was upstairs, Aaron (my husband) was downstairs with the little ones.  

It was almost nap time so I asked him to straighten up and bring them up for a nap.  By time he did that, I would have their sheets changed, clothes put away and room straightened up.  I cleaned up and waited for them to come upstairs.  When they didn't come up, I went downstairs to see what the hold up was.

I walked into the kitchen and saw a huge mess.  I did not remember  James 1:19...

I did not stop and listen to what they had to say about their mess.  I just started yelling at my husband for not cleaning up and not bringing them upstairs for their nap.  I was tired and cranky but I should have been slow to speak.

There was a mess because they were using the cookie cutters to spell out a message for me in Play doh...

As it has before, my bad mood affected my words.  I immediately apologized and realized that I need to loosen up on the weekends and be kinder to my family.  Yes, it is important to have a clean living space but it is more important to excuse the mess when the kids are having fun with their dad. 

I may need to tattoo James 1:19 onto my forearm to remind me to hold my tongue.

Christmas House Tour (busy mom style)

 

Have you seen the blogs that joined the Christmas House Tour movement?  These bloggers post tours of the Christmas decorations in their homes.  If you haven't seen one of these posts, you can check one out at at my sister in law Hilary's blog.   Most of these bloggers, like my sister in law, are people who have an eye for design & decor and have a knack for DIY.  

Their homes are gorgeous and can sometimes make a regular homeowner like myself feel a bit inadequate.  So if you are feeling  abit overwhelmed too, I will make you feel a little better about yourselves.  I am posting a tour of my Christmas decor.  

Some homes have a "theme."  My theme this year is "child friendly."  With three small kids, all of my decor has to be either child friendly or edible.

 These are Nativity scene magnets on the inside of the front door.

We decided to skip the full sized tree this year and go with a smaller tree that fits on the dining room table.  This stops the two littlest Delmantos from messing with the ornaments.  The table is in the front window so the tree can also be seen from the street and gives the appearance of a full sized tree.

Advent Calendar hanging on the hall closet door.

We hang our Christmas cards on the kitchen cabinets. 

I love to use artwork made by the kids as Christmas decor.  Sydney made this 5 years ago and I hang it up every year in the front hallway.

I have an 8x10 portrait of each child hanging in the hallway downstairs.  We made Christmas lights to hang under each of their pictures.

We each have a matching stocking hanging on the staircase.

Sydney loves to create decor to hang on the walls.

 Did you decorate for Christmas?   Do you have an eye for design?  Share a link to your blog if you blogged about your house this Christmas!

What does a vacuum have to do with being selfish?

 

Our vacuum has gotten a real work out over the last five years!  When it comes to making a mess, we are hard core in this house.  So after five years our vacuum has been acting up.  It still worked but not as effectively as it did when we first purchased it.  I knew that a new one was in our near future but I planned to use it until it died. 

One night last week after my husband got home from work, he ran out to the store to get some materials he needed for work.  When he walked in the door he had a new vacuum with him.  

 

What was my response?  

Gratitude

Joy

Appreciation

 Thankfulness

Excitement 

No!  I thought to myself...

Why did he get a vacuum without asking me?

I wish that I had a chance to pick it out myself?

Aren't I the one that uses the vacuum 99.9% of the time?

Did we really need to be spending money on a new vacuum right now?

Fortunately I didn't act on those thoughts.  I had a chance to check myself and think it through before I spoke.  I realized how incredibly selfish I was acting.  I thought of the phrase, "first world problems."   I immediately changed my frame of mind to one that was more positive.  I thanked my husband and was grateful for the new vacuum.

 I tried the vacuum out and was excited to see how much better it worked than the old vacuum. I focused on the fact that it was really thoughtful for my husband to surprise me with the new vacuum and to think of me while out shopping.  It was nice of him to buy something for me without me having to ask for it.  

Boy was I being selfish!  I am glad that I was able to readjust my thinking before I spoke!

"Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few."Ecclesiastes 5:2

" I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11

Did you see me at the mall?

Here in New Jersey the weather this week went from 50 degrees outside to 80 degrees in just one day!  The steamy weather prompted me to look through the kids' clothes to see what summer clothes they had in their current size.   Ella has plenty of dresses but not a lot of t -shirts and shorts.  I remembered that Ella got an Old Navy gift card for her birthday from her aunt.  I decided that now was as good of a time as any to spend it! 

If you have young children (mine are 1 and 2 years old) then you know that a trip to the mall sounds a lot simpler than it is.   So when we got to the mall, I loaded the babies into the beast of a double stroller, buckled everyone in, squeezed the diaper bag into the stroller, distributed the bribery snacks & beverages and headed into the mall.

When we walked out of the mall, I tried to remember where I parked.  As I scanned the parking lot I saw my minivan.  Yes, we owned the van that was sitting in the lot with the doors wide open!  While going through my 12 step process to get the kids ready to go into the mall, I must have forgotten to close the doors!  We had tons of DVDs and books in there and nothing was missing.  Even the dollar bills and spare change sticking out of the dashboard were still there!  

I was grateful that nothing (including the van) was stolen!  I guess there are not as many crimes taking place at the mall when it is 10:00 in the morning.  

So when you see a minivan with its doors left wide open, say a little prayer for the mom that owns that van.  She was probably too frazzled to remember to close them!

Worthy of Admiration- Corrie ten Boom

My senior year in high school, we had to do a long spoken presentation on a person that we felt was an influential Christian.   Many people had chosen Billy Graham or other famous evangelists.   Others chose missionaries or people in the Bible.  I chose Corrie ten Boom.

Why choose Corrie?  I loved to read and I had just finished reading the Diary of Anne Frank, Night and The Hiding Place.  I wanted to learn more about the survivors.  During my years in high school why had I never heard of the Holocaust?  It was too important a piece of history to be left out of our curriculum.  I was going to change that for my class.  I chose Corrie so that I could use her story to share that part of history with my classmates that did not know what had happened. 

Corrie ten Boom and her family were Christians living in Amsterdam  in 1942 during World War II and Hitler's invasion of the Netherlands. During this time, the Nazis were arresting and detaining Jewish people in concentration camps, otherwise know as death camps.

Corrie and her family were Christians so they would not have been bothered by the Nazis as they swept through Holland looking for Jews.  But the ten Boom family harbored Jewish refugees in their home in a "hiding place"

In 1944 an informant told the Nazis that the ten Booms had been helping Jews to evade detection from the Nazis.  The ten Booms were all arrested but the six Jews that were in the "hiding place" evaded detection and survived.

Corrie and her family were sent to concentration camps throughout Europe.  During this time Corrie's father and sister, Betsie were killed.

In the book, "The Hiding Place," Corrie details the terribel ordeal that she experienced at Ravensbruck concentration camp.  Throughout this horrific experience, Corrie remained positive and encouraged and witnessed to many of her fellow prisoners.  She wrote many of these famous quotes during her time suffering in the concentration camp.

No matter how bad the conditions were in the concentration camp, Corrie remained positive and trusted the Lord completely.

She stood in the face of torture and death on a daily basis and she was not afraid.  She would encourage other prisoners with her quotes.

Corrie was eventually released from Ravensbruck in December of 1944.  She found out later that her release was due to a clerical error.  She was really supposed to be on the list to be killed the next week with the other prisoners her age. Her release was a mistake.  God uses mistakes!  This mistake saved Corrie's life!

After her release, Corrie went on to travel the world to speak about the Holocaust and her survival.  Another strong theme in her speeches was forgiveness.   She had even forgiven the guards from Ravensbruck concentration camp that killed her father and sister.  Many people became Christians after listening to Corrie speak.

Corrie was a prolific writer and I encourage you to read her books.  She is inspirational!!!! When you feel like life is too difficult and you disappointed in God, think of Corrie.  She went through worse than any of us have and through it all she trusted and praised our Lord!

There is no such thing as the perfect mom

This is one of my favorite quotes.  When I read it I think of being a mom.  When you see moms on Facebook that have perfect lives and perfect children, you can be sure of one thing... they are lying!  No mom is perfect and when it comes to being a parent, there will be mistakes.  Lots of mistakes.   Parenting is a struggle.  

Mistakes are OK.  Remember that they are proof that you are trying.

Unfortunately these "perfect" moms don't realize that they are doing a disservice to other moms.  They make the rest of us feel inadequate in comparison.  My advice when dealing with these "perfect" moms is to remember that you are only getting a glimpse of what they want you to see.  You are comparing their highlight reel to your behind the scenes unedited version.

You can print this coloring page for free here

Employment Mistakes?

My husband Aaron is a landscaper and in my opinion a very talented one.  In September 2011, he made the decision to leave his job working at a nursery to work for a landscaper in Westfield.   Just last week, that landscaper laid Aaron off.  Was it mistake for him to leave the job he had at the nursery?  Why would God let this happen so close to Christmas?  and at a time when medical benefits are crucial for both Ella and me?

Even as Christians, we question and doubt the Lord.  We are still human beings with a sinful nature.  You would think that after what I went through with Ella that my first instinct would be to trust.  I didn't.  I had about a 24 hour migraine laced pity party.  I slept for 24 hours straight and woke up periodically to cry.

After that, I pulled it together and tried to review all of the challenges that God brought us through this year.  Nothing is too difficult for Him.  So we are waiting on the Lord to see what the plan will be.  Is there something better for Aaron out there?  Was the Lord protecting Aaron by removing him from a toxic boss?

I thought of a story that I heard right after 9/11.  I don't remember who the author was so I can't give him credit.  He was telling the story of what happened to him on that Tuesday morning.  He started by saying that on 9/10, he was fired.  He left his office in the Twin Towers devastated.   He questioned God.  Why would God let this happen to him?    He was angry.  Angry at his boss and angry at God.

He woke up Tuesday morning, September 11th and was still angry.  He finally pulled himself out of bed and turned on the news just in time to watch an airplane crash into the window where he used to sit.  He broke down immediately realizing that it should have been him.  He got the answer to his question.  God allowed him to be fired to save his life.  God had a purpose for him.  He was left on this earth for a reason.

It has been a week since Aaron was fired.  We haven't seen the literal reason why Aaron was fired like the man on 9/11 did.  Nonetheless, we know that there was purpose and reason behind it.  We will try to patiently wait on the Lord.  

That is a strange blog title

My sweet Ella Grace is the reason why I gave my blog the title, "Some of the Best Things in Life are Mistakes."  Getting pregnant with Ella was a mistake.  I know some of you cringed when you read that, but it is true.  She wasn't planned and was a complete and total surprise, a shocker!!   She was the best mistake I ever made!!

Some people have "ooops" pregnancies or unplanned pregnancies but my pregnancy with Ella was nothing short of a miracle.  After having my son Lucas, I had a tube tying procedure as a permanent form of birth control.  It was advertised as being 99.9% effective.  Well, we were the .1%.  The procedure failed.

I had difficult pregnancies.  No, difficult isn't a strong enough word- atrocious, terrible, horrendous.  I had a condition called Hyperemesis Graviderum.  It is very rare and most people haven't heard of it until recently when Princess Kate was diagnosed with it.  It is a severe form of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy.  I lost 20% of my body weight and fought dehydration the entire time.  I was in and out of the hospital dozens of times during my pregnancies.  So after having Lucas we decided that I would have my tubes tied.  My body could not go through that again.

God had other plans.  Needless to say, I was in shock when I discovered that I was pregnant 7 months after having my tubes tied.  My son Lucas was just 9 months old.  I was depressed as well as shocked.  I cried for days.  I could not imagine being pregnant again so soon after having my son.  How would I take care of a baby while vomiting all day.  In my misery, I prayed for a miscarriage.  I didn't know what to do.  

God was in control!  I trusted Him and the pregnancy continued.  My husband Aaron was so supportive and knew that this baby was a blessing. It was more difficult than the other two pregnancies.  I lost so much weight that my baby stopped gaining weight.  The doctors decided to induce her at 36 weeks so that she would have a chance to grow.

Ella Grace was such a sweet little baby.  She was a peanut leaving the hospital at just 5 pounds.  I looked at her and knew that every bit of the suffering was worth it.   The mistake was a blessing. 

 Little did I know holding that little baby that she would save my life.  In that picture above, I did not know that I had breast cancer.  I was 37 years old and had no breast cancer in my family history but I had breast cancer.  At this young age, I would not have had a mammogram for many years and I would not have had another breast exam for at least a year.  Six weeks after having Ella I went to my OBGYN for my postpartum checkup and the lump was discovered.  It was discovered that early because of Ella!

The cancer was removed, a full hysterectomy performed and radiation administered.  I am cancer free.  The Lord knew back in the Summer of 2011 when I got pregnant that this baby would save my life.  I spent that summer wondering why the Lord would allow me to be pregnant and it took a year but the Lord answered me loud and clear.

I learned that I need to trust God in all situations no matter how difficult they may be.  Ella is a constant reminder that God loves us and that He is in control.

Ella Grace and me on her 3rd Birthday (March 2015)