If you read my post last year about resolutions, you know that I have a problem with them. I don't write New Year's resolutions for myself, I would much rather write resolutions for other people.
I may lose Facebook friends over this post but I write this anyways. This year I am going to write resolutions for all my Facebook friends.
2014 New Year's Resolutions for My Facebook Friends:
1. I resolve not to post about my exercise routines. I will not post how many miles I have run or post pictures of myself exercising at the gym. I understand that no one needs to know this.
2. I resolve not to post pictures or status updates with curse words in them. It is just unnecessary. As an adult, I should be able to express myself without being vulgar. I understand that some of my Facebook friends may have children that can read and if they walk by a computer and see their parent's FB feed they should not have to read that nonsense.
3. I resolve not to declare my undying love for my significant other through Facebook. I will yell into the next room and tell them in person rather than declaring it through my Facebook feed. I am aware that this might make my Facebook friends throw up in their mouth when they read it.
4. I resolve not to over use the "count down" post. I will only post major milestones until the "big event." I will avoid daily updates such as "only 187 more days until our sweet baby is due" and then the next day "only 186 more days until our baby is due." I am aware that my Facebook friends can do simple math and can figure out how long it is until the baby is due without the daily updates.
5. I resolve not to be depressed on Facebook. I vow not to complain about being single and how I wish I had a boyfriend. I will try to be content with whatever my marital "status" may be.
6. I resolve to check all of my "controversial articles" on Snopes before I share them on my news feed. It is a simple step that I can take to help stop the spread of misinformation.
7. I resolve not to post pictures of my feet. I don't need to explain this one. Feet are gross and I understand that no one wants to see that.
8. I resolve to try not
to post about my "first world problems" on a daily basis. I understand
that chipping my nail polish does not qualify as a crisis for my
Facebook friends.
9. I resolve not post pictures of myself "clubbing," especially if I am over 30 years old. Again, no one wants to see that.
10. Finally, I resolve not take "selfies" during the year 2014. "Selfies" are not attractive for anyone that is not a child.
What resolutions would you like to see written for your Facebook friends?
